Monday, December 3, 2007


October 28, 2006. We attended the wedding of my hubby’s cousin. 8 weeks on the way, I looked like I was on the 5th for some. After the wedding, hubby and I slept like a baby with Mozart playing for my little one in my tummy. I know that the baby won’t be able to hear until 6 months but I like doing that the earliest possible. Anyhow, there was another party for the night. Hubby was always religious in sending me to bed early. Before I did, I went to the john, as I pulled down my undie, I saw spots of brownish blood. It didn’t look fresh. I panicked. I didn’t know what to. I didn’t want to tell my husband at first but I was worried. He panicked too when I told him and rushed me to the hospital.

In the hospital, I was just advised to go home and get a complete bed rest. I later realized that she didn’t even scan my tummy to find out what was going on. I was just asked if I did strenuous activities that day. The morning after, I was on bed for the whole day, praying to God for my baby.

Monday, Oct 30. My ob was not in her office being a holiday the day after. I went to a different OB and she ordered a scan. In the ultrasound room, I avoided the monitor. I was not prepared for any bad news. The technician asked me routine questions but there were two questions that were new to me, “Did you take any medicine lately?” and “Did you get tired the past few days?”. I said no and asked why. She told me that the baby lost his heartbeat and she was guessing that it was just very recent because everything looked fresh. I was so devastated. I didn’t know how to break it to my husband who was by the way waiting outside. I felt numb. When I finally told hubby about it, he asked me never ending questions. I just sat there crying. We went in our car and cried like hungry babies. The sky was even sad for us. It rained.

Devastated we were, we headed home where I continued crying. My husband consoled me and even though he was hurting, he knew he had to be strong for me. After the holiday, I saw my ob, repeated the scan and gave us same result. FETAL DEMISE. My cervix was just slightly open then. My doctor wanted to wait for the miscarriage to happen before doing the D&C. She prescribed me evening primrose oil to soften my cervix. But after 3 weeks of carrying my dead baby in me, my ob finally decided to induce the miscarriage. The day after, I had the D&C procedure for the second time that year. It was less painful, I was under general anesthesia. My bill was even better that time, it was like 10k cheaper.

Again, recovery will never be easy.

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